Of Jack, Of Rose, and of Umlatch

You can say the beginning with me, children. Once upon a time, in a land not so far from here, a princess was born.

Everybody who was anyone in the small kingdom of Dearon was invited to the ball that preceded her arrival. The revelry that ensued after she arrived in this world is what legends are made of.

It was a cold, blustery winter's day, but at the exact time of the princess' birth, the royal rose bushes welcomed her into the wide, wide world by bursting forth from their cover of snow and ice and blooming deep and red. The King recognized the rose's tribute by naming his daughter Rose.

At the same time as Rose's birth, across the castle-town, a boy was born to a tailor and his wife. Nobody was at the birthing, and there was no feasting after he joined the world. The tailor, a simple man, named his son Jack.

On the other side of the kingdom–which was not a large kingdom, nor was it small–something very terrible happened as the two children welcomed the day with their cries. In the Dark Wood, a large reptilian shape landed. A dragon had come to Dearon. The dragon looked around and decided to stay a while. There was no one present to herald its coming, as all the knights of the kingdom were at the revelry welcoming Rose to the world.

Time passed, as Time does. Rose and Jack grew up in their separate worlds to two fine specimens, fifteen summers old. By all accounts, Rose was beautiful, gracious and fair–a true princess; if a bit willful for her father's comfort. Jack was trained as a tailor by his father, and showed an aptitude for his letters and numbers.

Then came the day when Jack was called upon by his father to take some clothing to the scullery maids at the castle. Jack–having never been to the castle–was thankful for the chance to see the grand life of royalty. As he came close to the servants' entrance, he was too caught up in where he was going and was not watching what was going on around him.

"Whoa! Look out there!" Jack had to scramble to keep from being ran over by a horse that was galloping madly toward the castle gates. He landed on his rump with a most unceremonious thump. He did not let the bundle of clothes that he was carrying touch the ground, however. Holding them high, he peeked at the rider who had almost ran him down.

Jack's heart felt near to bursting. The most beautiful sight in the world awaited his eyes as they moved upwards. There was a girl sitting on the horse, looking down at him worriedly.

"Are you all right?" Her melodious voice asked as she climbed down from the horse. She giggled. "You really should watch where you are going, you know. If it had been Sir Landover, he probably would have run you down. My name's Rose."

"I...I..I'm Jack," was all Jack could manage as he picked himself up off the ground. He had heard that the princess was of uncommon beauty, but as he was confronted with it, his voice did not want to come to him.

"Well, Jack. It is a pleasure to meet you," she said, with another giggle. "Now, I must be off, or else my mother will have all the knights in the land looking for me. I hope we meet again." This last was said with a smile that would have melted Jack's heart clean away, if it had not already melted upon first sight.

"A...A...As do I, your Highness," Jack was able to get out as the princess rode away. After watching the princess ride away with his heart in her pocket, Jack went to deliver the clothes.

As Jack was preparing to leave the castle and take his father's payment back to him, an uproar billowed across the castle. Jack caught the words "...princess..." and "...dragon..." and his heart sank deep within his chest. Rose must have gone too close to the Dark Wood, and the dragon taken her! A friendly maid who he had met many times around the streets of the capital showed him a place where he could listen in.

"What!?" The King was not taking it well. A large, hefty man dressed in blue armor spoke to him gently. "Sire, the dragon Umlatch, who resides in the Dark Wood, has taken the princess." "I heard what you said, Landover! Why are you not out rescuing her!?" The blue-armored one answered, "I merely paused to deliver the news to you, Sire. I shall be off as soon as my horse is made ready."

Then Jack heard the words that he had been waiting for, that gave him hope. "Whoever rescues the Princess Rose from the clutches of the dragon shall have her hand in marriage and be the heir to the kingdom!" The King stood as he said this, and beat his fist against the arm of his chair.

‘This is my chance', thought Jack. ‘If I can rescue her, she would be my bride!' Jack scurried home as fast as he could. He didn't stop to answer his mothers' questions, but gave his father the payment for the delivery of clothes and grabbed his pack on his way back out the door.

Dark Wood was a few days travel by foot. It struck Jack as somewhat daunting that he was passed by many an armored knight going towards the forest, but none traveling toward the castle. He did not let this bother him overmuch, for he was caught in the way all young men get caught–by the heart. And when a man–or a boy–gets caught by the heart, there is little that he will allow to turn him from his quest.

At last he reached the wood, which was quick to live up to its name. The trees were black oaks–which are valued for the quality of what could be built with the lumber, but which are quick to take back what was given. No one who builds a home of black oak lives a year after, legend says.

Jack knew not the truth of the legends, but the reality of the situation was bleak enough. He took stock in where he was, and what he was doing. "I'm going into the Dark Wood to rescue a princess who I have seen but once from a dragon that is renowned throughout the realm for its brutality." He sat upon a well-aged stump to think, and soon fell into a sleep–he had traveled for days without resting, and it finally took its toll.

When he awoke, he found that some things had transpired to make his doubts moot. While he slept well outside the boundary of the wood, he awoke apparently well inside of the forest. He could not tell which direction was which, and to make things worse, his pack was missing.

With this dire omen, he decided to carry forth on his self-appointed mission. There was nothing but tailoring awaiting him at home, and the hand of Rose awaited him were he to find a way to pry her from Umlatch's grasp.

He picked a direction and started walking. His surroundings soon told him that he chose correctly, for the forest grew darker and darker as he strode forth. The way was quite clear, as the trees' canopies had grown together and stifled any undergrowth from encroaching on their land. So he walked. And walked. And walked. And the forest grew darker. And darker. And darker.

It took quite a bit of time for him to get to where Umlatch had made its lair. He knew he was getting closer when helmets–presumably of knights who had tried and failed the King's command–appeared pierced upon the lance that each knight bore into battle. Jack was wary, looking around for any sign of the beautiful Rose–or more importantly, any sign of the reptile.

"So, they send a boy to do a knight's work, do they?" The voice rang out across the wood, reverberating as it echoed through and around the trees. Jack's knees shook uncontrollably when he heard the first word, and he near to swooned from just the power inherit in that voice. "Their best and brightest cannot defeat me–cannot hope to regain what I have claimed as mine own, so they are reduced to this?"

Jack strove to make his voice strong. ‘For Rose' he whispered in his mind. "I need not what the knights brought with them. You may underestimate your opponent, O Umlatch."

A curious sound arose, followed by a flash of fire from the right. "Boy, you do not live to be as old as I, nor as great as I, by underestimating your opponents. You will be a morsel, nothing more." While the creature talked, Jack removed his belt–fine leather, done by one of his father's friends in payment for some small tailoring that Jack had done for his family.

"There is a first time," said Jack. "I do not doubt thy power, O Wyrm of the Wood, but would anyone be so foolhardy as to walk directly into thy lair, unclad of iron or steel? Without e'en the protection of the slightest leather jerkin? Would someone who doubted themself be so close to thee–unarguably the finest Wyrm the world has ever seen?" Jack prayed that the legends of dragons' vanity proved truth.

"You speak truth, young one," said Umlatch. "But many have tried–and failed–to oust me from my home. Pray tell, if you are such a confident boy, what skills or powers that you bring to defeat me, so that I may know what I will face–and be afraid." Jack could hear the smirk in the dragon's tone.

"That I will, O Wyrm. But first, thou must show me thy visage, so that I may know the opponent that I must face–and best." All of Jack's limbs were shaking uncontrollably as he said this. To try and calm himself, he repeated to himself a phrase he learned from his mother–‘A man's tasks are many and varied, a woman's tasks become more when she marries.' Nonsense phrase, to be sure, but it served its purpose and his limbs stayed still once more.

Jack heard the beast before he saw it, crashing through the trees to his left. And when he saw it, it was all he could do to keep from dropping to his knees and begging for his life.

Umlatch was bending the trees on its approach to where Jack stood. The long, sinewy neck wove around a branch here, a trunk there, always keeping at least one of its eyes focused upon Jack. The dragon's head was small, however. The snout was no bigger around than Jack's torso, albeit Jack's torso if he was filled to near bursting with long, sharp teeth. A bright red in colour, Umlatch was longer than the Town Hall was tall, and wisps of flame escaped its nostrils as it breathed.

"So, boy. Do you see what you face?" The dragon's mockery was audible in its tone, and the way it stretched its neck toward Jack.

"I am sorry, Wyrm of the Wood," said Jack. "I am quite nearsighted. Couldst thou come a little closer? Thou does not need to bring thy body entire, but I would look thee in the eye, if you will." His mother's mantra tore through his mind, and he struggled to keep his voice from quivering with terror.

The dragon moved its head closer, ‘til Jack could feel his hair burning from the flames. "A bit closer, if you would, O Wyrm. I cannot quite see thy eyes." The dragon complied, quite secure in the knowledge that it was infinitely more powerful than the young boy.

Quick as a wink, Jack looped his belt around the dragon's snout, and pulled on the leather until he could hear it creak under the strain. Umlatch instantly reared back, with the Wyrm's eyes blazing orange in its anger. Jack fell to the ground hard, and felt his arm snap. He looked up at the dragon which paid no heed to the trees around it–Umlatch knocked down a few trees with its tail and neck as it tried to free itself from the leather that bound its jaws shut.

Jack stood as quick he was able, cradling his right arm to his side. ‘I must find Rose!' he thought as he awkwardly ran from the fuming dragon.

Rose was tied to a post not far from the place where Umlatch was tormenting Jack. Her eyes glittered when she saw him running toward her, and after he untied her, she kissed him full on the lips.

"Quickly, we must away!" She cried after the kiss, and took Jack's left hand in her right and sprinted as fast as her legs could carry her. The dragon, seeing his prey escaping, grew even more infuriated and tried to give chase through the Wood–knocking down a few more trees in the process with every stride.

As the princess and Jack reached the point where the knights' lances stood, Jack stopped her. "You go on, go back to the castle. I cannot run with my arm as it is, and I may delay the beast enough for you to find some help–perhaps some knights are coming close as we speak." Rose saw the logic in this, and gave him a quick kiss. She said, with an odd look upon her face, "I shall, Jack. Thank you."

Jack took a lance in his left hand, and waited for the dragon to come. He did not have long to wait, and he could not even turn around to see his love escape.

Umlatch bore through the trees, intent on running Jack into the ground for the indignity that the boy dared to heap upon the majestic beast. Seeing Jack standing his ground, the dragon stretched his neck high, and looked at the boy with fiery eyes. The belt still held.

The dragon lifted his foot up, ready to crush Jack beneath his immense weight. Jack could do nothing but point the lance toward the foot–even in death, he was ready to be a thorn in the paw.

Jack flew backward from an immense heat, until hitting the hard, unforgiving wood of a black oak. A moist wave covered him, pelting him with hard bits. Umlatch's fire, constrained by the belt around his snout–and unable to gain any release–had been stoked by the Wyrm's anger until it needed a release. Finding none, the fire turned upon itself. The dragon had exploded. Jack collapsed where he stood, unheeding of the fire that even now licked at the roots of the Wood.

Jack awoke and felt something soft under his head. Opening his eyes, he looked full into the face of a teary-eyed Rose. She cradled his head in her arms as tears fell from her cheeks. A cheer arose next to them, and Jack turned his head–slowly, for it did hurt–and saw Landover, the corpulent knight who first reported the news to the King.

"The boy lives! All praise be to the one who returned our princess!"

And that is the tale, children. Rose and Jack did marry, and I believe that you can recite the words with me:

And they lived happily ever after.

© 1999, Cameron Wm. Akers