:: Hey....He Puts Weasels Down His Trousers! ::

:: 9.23.2003 ::

The first official blog from 'chelle and I's new digs.

The house is sweet. Will be sweeter when unpacking is done.

I had about 80 boxes. 60 of them books. Not much of an exaggeration there.

I've got a metric shitload of books. The good thing is that a bunch of them were in storage (well, in my dad's shed) for the last six or so years. So it's like getting a whole lot of new books to read again.

Arachne is the only computer up, because we kinda decided to use the computer room as a 'staging area' for upstairs boxes. (and, well, most of mine since the computer room is 'my' room. ) 'chelle's computer is sitting forlorn on her computer desk by the doorway. I claimed importance for Arachne due to the baseball league. Go me again, eh?

Mowed the yard and put in solar lights for the backyard, which was black as a moonless cloudy night at the bottom of a coal shaft.

So I'm probably not going to do much more today.

Lazyass, I am.

And hurtin' from all the work I've done this weekend.

And don't EVEN ask me about my day job. Bastids.

(yes, I still have it.)

:: Cameron 9/23/2003 06:55:35 PM [+] ::
...

I've kept quiet the past few days on purpose.

Now that 9/11 has past, and I've rifled through the sentimental detritus, read the "retrospectives," watched the footage again, and listened/read/watched a lot of garbage on-line and off-, I think I can comment on it.

On 9/11/01 I was living in Vista, California. By myself. I had to work that morning. I don't watch much television at all, so I'd had my cable disconnected voluntarily. I tended then-- as now-- to get most of my news online.

I woke up a few minutes late, so I didn't have time to go to cnn.com and check out the news of the day. Instead I grabbed a quick shower, ate a piece of 'za and headed out to my car.

I listened every morning to Howard Stern-- it helped to give me a bit of a good mood on my way to what was then becoming a job that I knew I was a bit over my head in. Not knowing what was happening, I kept hearing disjointed statements-- nothing made sense.

I arrived at work. Walk into the office and everyone's sitting around the bigscreen tv that was there.

"What's going on?"
"You don't know?"
"If I did, I wouldn't ask. What's going on?"
"Plane crashed into the World Trade Center."

I immediately sat down and began watching. I saw the second plane hit. I saw the tower come down, and those poor people jumping. I couldn't believe my eyes. I saw the people in the middle east celebrating the deaths of thousands.

This wasn't a movie.
This wasn't a show.
This was happening.

Right here.
Right now.

I called my mother in Oakland, just to hear the familiar voice and let her know that I was alright (yes, I was on the west coast, but she's a mom. She worries. That's her job).

And I watched.

I sat there, mostly motionless, for the better part of the day. Taking it in. Wondering what would happen with the United States. The bigger, geopolitical picture. (Yes, I do indeed wonder about such things)

The next few days are a blur in my memory. I remember Justin Cronin, Tom Chee, myself, Rhiannon Kohler (nee Crabtree), Zane Kohler and Tom's girlfriend Beth walking to the nearest park to the office carrying candles.

I remember that a Jewish observance was going on in that park, and I remember them inviting us to join their circle, and our declining of the honour. (Nicely, and letting them know that it was an honor to be asked)

I remember us sitting there in that park, holding the candles (that Tom and I went and bought previously that afternoon) and just thinking. Not talking too much, although some conversation was had, but thinking. Absorbing. Trying to come to grips with what happened so many miles away. So many miles, yet still happening to /us/. A midwesterner, two Southern Californians, New Jersey-ite and Bostonian. It was personal. We were/are Americans, regardless of where we were/are from.

I remember hearing the talking heads on television (and more than a few in my own peer group) saying that the United States had brought this upon ourselves, that we were too arrogant, too unfeeling, too concerned with the bottom line and not humanity-- in short, that we deserved this.

I remember vehemently denying this.

I remember that next weekend when Zane, Cronin, Chee and myself gathered for our weekly "Band of Brothers" watching the surreality of it all just covering us. I remember Cro and I sitting on the balcony and just talking. Trying to make sense of it all.

I remember the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, which has remained with me since that day, more or less.

------------------------------------------

Two years later, the same people are saying the same things. America deserved it, deserves more.

America should grind the world under our boots.

America should hit fast, hit hard, and show no mercy.

I'm reading a lot of pretentious stories, about human nature, about how America is evil, or humanity is evil.

Bollocks to all of you, I say.

America is what it is. An idea. An idea of an ideal, if you will. A place founded in the hope that all humanity could live side by side without religion dominating the day (as it did in the rest of the world when America was founded).

Is it perfect? No. An ideal can never be reached. "You can never be too thin or too rich." Does the rest of the world carry a chip on its shoulder? Yes. America was and is blessed with abundant land (no overcrowding) resources (less of a needful reliance on other nations or trusting trade routes) and peaceful neighbors (for the most part, although Mexico and Canada engaged in sabre-rattling early in our histories).

We are a young nation, without the ancient cultures of Europa. (Native Americans can call me on this. Their culture is ancient and honorable and deep).

Most of America's history has happened in the last 100 years. WWI. WWII. Korea. Vietnam. Afghanistan. Iraq.

We are a proud people, despite the disparate backgrounds of our citizenry.

Instead of debating whether America is good or evil, we as Americans should be ready to answer the call. We can change things if we don't like them. We can vote. We can petition and have ourselves heard. We have the right to gather peaceably. We have free speech, although my right to throw a punch ends where the punch-ees nose begins.

I've read a lot about how tainted and corrupt America is -- from America's own citizens. Do they not realize that those much-publicized anti-American protests in Afghanistan and Iraq are only happening because of our sincere belief in the right of Free Speech?

Do they not realize that the entire reason they can say what they do is because of that selfsame belief?

I'm firmly of the belief that the system America has-- while not perfection-- is a damn good realization of an ideal. It is an ideal brought into practice. And while no ideal survives practical application, ours is good.

Bitch all you want about America, about the government, about how the common person is helpless against inertia.

I'll smile and nod and say "You're only helpless if you don't give the effort required."

I personally don't care for the current President of the United States of America.

I personally revere the office that he holds.

America is the ideal. Should she not reach the lofty heights she strives for, it is because we, the people, have failed her.

:: Cameron 9/14/2003 02:03:00 PM [+] ::
...

HOUSE!

Michelle and I put down the first installment of payments on our rental house.

Well, Michelle did. I am getting my check Friday or Saturday, so I'll be able to pay her back.

The house needs a little work. Needs a shower head put in. Bigger ceiling fans. Circuit breakers instead of fuses. Phone jacks.

But it's a nice house. Damn nice. Nicer than anything 'chelle and I could afford on our own.

And it's ours, which is great.

Now, just hope my job gets better. Right now, I'm running into hurdle after hurdle after hurdle. Hoping that the grace period lasts a bit longer so that my employers can get some things ironed out. Because there are wrinkles, oh yes.

:: Cameron 9/10/2003 07:57:56 PM [+] ::
...

"If you don't care enough to tell me about something, don't assume I care enough to ask."

I can't remember where I read that, and I'm not sure whether I agree with it or not. On one hand, I see the point. I ask about things happening with people, and I get "oh, well, y'know, this and this and this, and blah blah blah."

No, that's not me being cute. that's pretty much the way things are explained.

So I'm a bit more of a . . . . well, wanting to stop asking, basically.

I ask because I care, and when bad explanations are given, why should I ask again?

----------------------------

I think I'm slowly working my way along my trust issues. There are tetchy spots still, and they've been hit pretty hard the last few days.

----------------------------

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

----------------------------

Why is a duck?

----------------------------

I need to improve my word racer skills.

/me


:: Cameron 9/6/2003 04:26:34 PM [+] ::
...

"So, Cameron. What was your third day at work like?"

Answer:

Same as the first two.

Parts didn't come in today, so I was stuck doing a whole lot of nothing. Well, that's an overstatement on "nothing." I got my parking situation ironed out. I went and visited a few of the clients. I started a "priority list"

So I did some things.

Got a couple pats on the back from who I work for. Couple feathers in my cap on things that I've done thus far to ease the transition. To me, they are common sense things, but as I've noted before, common sense isn't all that common.

Got the paperwork (finally) today-- guy said he'd do what he could to get my check to me on the 12th. Couldn't promise anything, as I guess payroll is a bit touchy about such things, but I'm needing the cashola.

Michelle and I are getting a house.

Two-bedroom with full basement and workbench in basement. One of the bedrooms is mine for a computer room, and the basement is pretty much Michelle's through and through. The workbench will come in handy with her art desires, and also give her a place to study when she needs quiet. Which are Good Things.

The computer room....man, do I have dreams for that. Going to get DSL or Cable (probably DSL-- fscking cable service is outrageous). Hopefully I can grab a DSL router on the cheap, get both of my computers up and running and also put Michelle's on there. Outlay would be the router, a big ol' computer desk, NICs, and cabling. Not bad for a home network. Put my old old machine out there as the print server, run Arachne and 'chelle's from it. Get a router that's got a good firewall on it, and home free.

Then, perhaps, I can get Arachne running Win2K like I want. Hope hope hope hope.

Not much work to be done on the house, 'cept painting the bathroom. Cracksmokers that were there before painted it a puke-ass lime green.

It has red, black and white tiling.

Fscking ugliness roomified.

Anyway, I'm moving the last couple of saturdays in September, and 'chelle is going to piecemeal it.

I'm just glad to be able to do this.

/me

:: Cameron 9/4/2003 07:08:54 PM [+] ::
...

New job is pretty cool.

I say this despite some reservations.

I haven't filled out any paperwork, nor have I received definite pay dates. I am assured that they are on this. They want me happy, because they want ISU happy.

I am going to have to manage an inventory-- today I had ordered a metric shitload of inventory (about 4K worth).

Included in that are two tool kits. Which will help when I go to fix something. The handy-dandy phillips screwdriver just looks dazed when confronted with torx bits.

Hopefully the inventory will be in tomorrow. Quick entry into excel, and then off I go to repair land. Most of my days (at least for the next few weeks) will be taken up by repairing machines. There's ~40 items just waiting to get fixed, so I'm starting off in the hole.

blar.

/me

:: Cameron 9/3/2003 05:40:22 PM [+] ::
...