:: Hey....He Puts Weasels Down His Trousers! ::

:: 3.21.2003 ::

The United States of America is at war.

Technically, undeclared, but that's a small nit to pick when we've done everything short of saying the words.

There's really no words to describe how I feel. I'm sick at the people's deaths. I'm sick that it ever had to turn this way, that diplomacy failed. But war is an extension of diplomacy. The resolution of diplomacy by other means, to mis-quote Clausewitz.

Do I feel that President George W. Bush did everything in his power to solve this through diplomatic channels? No. Not really.
However, the French take most of the blame in my mind.

Their blatant power grab within the European Union and the Security Council was sickening. The French are worried that a post-cold-war world won't have a French power base. I can't say that I'm against that.

These past few months are the first time I've thought of France at all since...well, probably since a friend of mine went there on vacation and told me that it was the rudest place on earth.

I'm interested in what the modern military can do. So far, I'm shocked and awed by the demonstration of prowess. The accuracy of the targeted munitions is awesome to behold, the minutely directed force is shocking. The United States military has to be the most precise military ever. I simply don't have the vocabulary to adequately describe it.

Before the war, I was worried. Now that the United States is committed, so am I. I guess you could officially label me a "hawk" as I can see the need for a "regime change" and I feel that the soldiery signed up to do the job, let them do it. (and before you ask yes. I have family in the Gulf region right now, and not a few friends besides.)

I just wish the world could see what we're doing through clear eyes. I truly believe we're not in the Empire-building stage. If we were, we would have turned Iraq into a vassal state in '91. Not to mention the fact we'd own half of Europe, as the Soviets tried to do.

We simply don't Care to. We had our Manifest Destiny. Sea to shining sea. We added Alaska and Hawai'i. We don't want or need any more land.

To those that think this is about oil: It must be nice to have such a simplistic view of the world. Yeah, those 2 billion barrels are integral to the functioning of the United States. Yeah. Right. And what colour is the sky in your dream world?

Yes, the US is acting through self-interest. We are hardly the only nation to do so. EVERY nation does so. If you don't believe that, go read something. Preferably harder than "see jack run. run jack run." because you need to educate yourself.

READ the literature. Read columns from BOTH sides of the political spectrum, then go read The Arab News (a Saudi english-language paper) or find some translated Al-Jazeera articles to read the other side of the story. You'll wind up with a totally different outlook on things.

Of course, some might not. In that case, I pity you.

But, dammit, there is NO excuse for willful ignorance. If you're going to spout off your worthless mewling feces, at least make sure you have the facts at your disposal and can cite credible sources to back them up.


:: Cameron 3/21/2003 09:57:30 PM [+] ::
...

I start my internship Monday.

It's off to an inauspicious start right now-- Friday I was taking care of some things that could not wait (and that I'm not going to go into here, thank you very much) and didn't get to school. I missed Math for Computing. Oops. Anyway, I called the person I'm interning with, as well as sending an email to him, asking him what time he wished me there.

No response.
I'm assuming 8 o'clock.
That's a good all-purpose hour, and one helluva lot earlier than I'm accustomed to being out 'n' about.

The lack of response doesn't really bother me-- Bill's the busiest person I know-- but I just don't like it adding to my nervousness. I'm rarely nervous, so when I am it jars and eats at me something fierce.

I was nervous today, so what did I do? Cleaned my damned car out. The thing (for those that know me, you're nodding your head right now if you didn't keel over from shock) about my cars are that they tend to attract, um, detritus? Trash. I don't like heaving trash out of the window, and there's not really room for a trash sack in an RX-7, so passenger side floorboard, ho! Hatch area, ho!

Over a winter, this tends to accumulate.

I had the Win98 Resource Kit, the WinNT 4.0 Resource Kit, a computer a friend gave me (with extra hard drive), bunch of cassette tapes, bunch of CDs, a Santa Claus hat that I wore in California around Christmastime (don't ask), a Sega Genesis that I bought in late November as my engagement was crumbling around me, a Nintendo Gameboy, a metric shitload of Terry Pratchett novels (I've been introducing my friends and a few instructors to the joy that is Pratchett), and 17 DVDs.

Not to mention the three bags o'trash that I burned. Old school papers, empty cigarette packs, empty cigarette cartons and the like. Oy.

Vaccuumed the damn thing out, too.

Yeah, I'm proud of myself right now. Amazing what nervous energy can do for ya.


:: Cameron 3/16/2003 02:23:41 AM [+] ::
...

I was reminded today that I'm a friend.

That sounds weird as hell to say. Even weirder when considering the source was an ex-girlfriend, and our breakup was less-than-amicable. (We are fine now, can laugh and joke around and carry on a civil conversation without even really talking-- y'know, the kind of conversation you can only have with someone who knows you?)

What really makes a friend?

In my case, I view it as a valid question-- not so much as to "explore angst" (as I have so very little of it) or to "grow as a person" (I'm big 'nuff, thanks) but just trying to view my relationships objectively.

I've decided that I offer a few things that other people either enjoy or need to hear, and don't hear it all that often-- even though you'll find plenty of people say they offer it. (Here's where you decide whether I'm a pompous blowhard know-nothing or if I know of what I speak)--

The truth, mixed in with a bit of humour.

I was at the same college I'm at now, on the radio, about 6-7 years ago. At the time I had hair down to my nether regions, wore all black, leather, engineer boots, etc. Think "Big ol' fat metalhead" and you've got it almost nailed. Not quite as fat as you've pictured.

I got a reputation as someone that would/could speak his mind without hesitation, and wouldn't sugarcoat.
My, the hubris of youth, eh?

In that 6-7 year time frame, I've learned that being blunt != being honest. You can be honest with someone you care about without smashing self-esteem all to hell, or saying things in a mocking tone.
Then? I needed to. I had all kinds of self-esteem issues.

Now? None at all. Somewhere over the past 7ish years I've become truly comfortable with myself. This isn't a popular thing on these blogs. Most people want to out-angst the next one. Me? I've got none. I know exactly who I am and where I want to be. Which, actually, isn't a digression-- this is explaining (or trying to) what I offer a friend.

I've suffered (and rejoiced) through a lot of livin' in my 28 years (and counting). I've come to find out that people are people regardless of where one goes in the USA. Met people from the Deep South, California, NYC, Boston, Jersey, South Dakota-- lots of other places-- and I can find them analogous to friends of mine that I grew up with in Oakland, IL-- pop. 1,000.

So I've found it a joy to dispose of the mask. What you see/hear is what you get. Genuine Pure-D. It's weird, because I can see a lot of my friends suffering behind their masks, and I want to help 'em rip it off. Tell 'em "yes, life does indeed suck. it's called gravity. But just because life sucks, doesn't mean you have to. Rise above."

It's not that hard, and the first step is accepting yourself.

And tell the truth in all things-- but there's no need to revel in hideous cyclopian plots and schemes to mock someone.
There's no need to belittle someone -- and there's a big difference 'twixt belittling and joking with-- to make yourself feel better.
There's no need to accept societal stereotypes of "What You Are." The only person that matters worth a damn is yourself. And you're stuck with that person for the rest of your life. Which can be long and happy. The power is in you to change, should you not care for yourself. Find new interests. Hell, play bingo!

This'll be updated later today. I'm about ready to pass out. Lotta deep thought went on tonight.

:: Cameron 3/14/2003 03:14:22 AM [+] ::
...

Speaking of _Blade Runner_....

I have the game that was originally made for Win95/NT4. I'm running a WinME box right now (no snickers, I have it working fine-- damn fine) and wanted to see if the BR game would make it puke.

No pukee here. Nuh-unh. None at all.

Aside from my solving a continuing problem (MaxFileCache size error in the system.ini file-- when you have over a GB of RAM, Win95/98/ME tends to puke a lot) while trying to get it to run, no errors.

So I started playing it.

Sweet zombie Jesus.

This is a good game. It successfully takes the bleak paranoid dystopian future of the movie and turns it into a fine game. You don't _know_ if you're hunting reps or humans. V-K 'em. You don't _know_ if the character is human or rep. The game randomly selects hum/rep characters at the beginning, which makes it impossible to get to a certain point and go "oh, yeah. I know how this is going."

The graphics are a metric shitload better than you'd expect. Sure, they aren't up to par with the modern FMV-quality grafx like in FFX for the PS2, or even a Warcraft III/Age of Mythology mode. But running on my P4 2.4 with 924MB of active RAM (1.5 GB installed) and my nVidia GeForce card, it looks lovely.

Way lovely.


:: Cameron 3/14/2003 02:58:58 AM [+] ::
...

I love movies.

Specifically, I love introducing friends of mine to movies that they haven't been subjected to, whether it's a small movie like Memento or a well-known movie like The Big Lebowski or O Brother, Where Art Thou?.

Did that tonight-- Saturday-- with a friend of mine and her roommate. Lordy, it was fun.

Introduced them to _Brazil_, and the aforementioned _Lebowski_ and _Brother_.

Great fun was had by all-- we've already made tentative plans to do this again, and have two of three movies lined up for propagation.

_The Fisher King_ with Jeff Bridges and Robin Williams (another Gilliam flick)
_Army Of Darkness_ with Bruce Campbell. Groovy.

Probably _Fight Club_ or _The Abyss_ will make the third, or I just might "accidentally" bring _Blade Runner_ over.
Can't get enough BR. I think it's impossible.

Anyway, it's not often that I get to spend time and company with two lovely, funny, intelligent and witty women. Damn, but I had fun.

:: Cameron 3/9/2003 03:40:10 AM [+] ::
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Alright, dammit.

I really need to keep this thing going.

Only book I've read recently is _Future Noir: The Making of Blade Runner_ which I scagged off a friend of mine. (Yes, Landrus, you'll get it back soon-- I'm going to read it 2-3 more times) I can never get enough esoterica from that movie. Every time I watch it I notice one more thing. Ridley Scott did a wonderful job in creating a layered and rich world that can be experienced multiple times. Ye gods and little fishes, I think I'm going to put that in.

I run a baseball league, at http://www.universal-baseball.net that has occupied much of my interest and hobby-time for the past four years or so. It's really interesting and is an excuse to keep up with friends of mine from the various locales that I've lived and worked. Not to mention the people (Baggs, Randy, Scooter, Mikey et al) that I've never met, but want to.

There were quite a few of them going to come to my wedding this June. Since I'm not getting married anymore, this is no longer feasible. I need to figure out a way to have a UBL owner's meeting. If there's any ideas out there, put 'em in as a comment.

School's going well. I just got in a six-pack of transcenders (http://www.transcender.com) for the following certification tests: A+, Net+, Win98, Maintaining and Designing an NT Network. Yes, there are only five listed, but there are two A+ tests to get the A+ Certification.
Sweet Zombie Jesus I don't know how people just decide to get started in this field. Metric shitload of money needed, just for the tests. Six practice tests cost well over 300USD. The tests themselves are over 100USD each. Donations are welcome. Nay, encouraged! =)

I write.

My short stories are eventually going to be put on here-- as links, dear reader, not as posts; even I'm not that sadistic-- but I've found something interesting. I have good ideas. Having problems with the story.

What's the most important part of a short story/novel? Story. STORY STORY, DAMMIT!

I really need to work this out. Hopefully just the physical act of writing will help me. I write 1000 words a day. Most of them fecal matter, but at least I'm writing.

Hopefully this marks the start of a successful blogging campaign!

:: Cameron 3/4/2003 06:44:30 PM [+] ::
...

The entirety of the Online Conference was a success.

There weren't that many tech calls, and the ones we had we were able to handle. Working Tier 2 support had its moments. When you're not quite sure about the technical prowess of the people answering the phones, it adds a bit of ....excitement? Trepidation, that's the right word.

Anyway, the calls were tailing off by the time the middle of the day rolled around, so it was a good time to catch up on homework, surf the net, play Word Racer on yahoo! games.

Bet you can't guess which one of the three things above I didn't do? ;-)

:: Cameron 3/2/2003 02:48:17 PM [+] ::
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